day 12: what i miss

my favorite picture, and how i remember my dad.
smiling and waving hello at the beach. (taken around 2001)

plain and simple. i miss my dad. a lot. his words of encouragement, wisdom, jokes, sense of humor--everything. he was the goofiest, most fun, happy-go-lucky guy around. he also had the strongest relationship with christ that i've ever seen and he made a constant effort to spread the joy that he found in christ with anyone he knew. he was a surfer, a modern-day hippy, a confidant, a creative spirit, and faithful friend. even with cancer, he never stopped being himself. he never lost hope. he truly lived. he was fearless. 

we're coming up on the 3rd anniversary of his passing away, and it still seems like it just happened yesterday. my life has changed so much in the last three years, and there's so much of it that i wish he could have been a part of. i think that's the hardest part for me. the fact that he wasn't able to celebrate mine and michael's wedding with us, or knowing that my kids will never get to know him makes me sick to my stomach, but it also points out the selfishness in my own heart. i'm selfish because i would rather have him here with me, but in order to do that, he would have to be taken from the eternal peacefulness of heaven. talk about a catch 22. 

i was looking at my dad's facebook page earlier and was very encouraged by a status he posted back in march of 2010. what an incredible call to action that we should all take to heart! bottom line: i miss you, dad.