even i can't believe i'm getting married...

any one of my friends who are close to me will tell you that of all people, i would be the last to get married. honestly, i just never really thought i'd do it. 

in my mind, people are categorized into "types." you know, like when you see a random stranger on the street and you can just tell that they're the "type" that doesn't wash their hands after they use the bathroom? well, i just never thought that i'd be the "type" that got married.

maybe when i was younger, i did (or perhaps it was because i felt that getting married was what you're eventually supposed to do), but then i came to the realization that life is messy, unfair and unpredictable, so i just figured i would not subject myself to something that only opened the door for life to come in and totally kick my ass if it wasn't absolutely necessary. 

around that same time, i came into this "no bullshit here" independence, which eventually evolved into "i like who i am when i'm single/alone." i became a "pusher," if you will. (and no, contrary to lindsey lohan in mean girls, i do not mean a "drug pusher.")

long story short, for me, independence + contentment + mild emotional vacancy = complete and total cynicism towards relationships.

but then i "met" michael.

i use quotes (which unfortunately are already overdone in this post) around met because michael and i have known each other since the 2nd grade and were high school sweethearts (class of '06, HOLLA!). 

(throwback to prom 2006)

in a nutshell, after we broke up after high school graduation, we went our separate ways. i went to college at texas tech and he eventually ended up in the air force. while we would randomly see each other from time to time, we really didn't keep in that great of contact with each other.

fast forward five years later to april 22, 2011. i was home for my friend, leigh anne's, wedding and since michael was living in a town close by, we, along with several of our friends we hadn't seen in a long time, decided to go for drinks to catch up. after that weekend, we began talking every day (i was living in the houston-area at the time) and i began to realize, and much to my delight, that this was not the same guy from high school. i think he, too, realized that i was very different, too. we started dating long distance, and on may 14, decided to see where our relationship would go. (pretty quick, i know, but that's generally how it goes down when you've know someone for upwards of 17 years.)

we've been together ever since. i moved to take a new job in the dallas-area, and ultimately to be closer to him, and we moved in together shortly after that. 

then, on april 29, 2012...

he asked....

and i said "yes!"

i'm a firm believer that everybody has the relationship that they want. if someone is in a bad relationship and they won't get out of it, they can only blame themselves. it's their choice. for me, i guess since i've had some emotional bombs dropped on my over the years, i eventually got it in my head that i would never find someone i loved to the point that i had to spend my life with them (and vice-versa), because stuff like that just doesn't happen to me. i began to choose cynicism and shut out the idea of being in a relationship. 

i chose cynical for a long time. now, thanks to michael showing me love everyday, despite myself, i am able, and more importantly, willing to choose love. 

this blog will chronicle my journey to the alter and beyond, and will hopefully inspire one of my fellow cynics to try love, too. 

until next time...