day 12: what i miss

my favorite picture, and how i remember my dad.
smiling and waving hello at the beach. (taken around 2001)

plain and simple. i miss my dad. a lot. his words of encouragement, wisdom, jokes, sense of humor--everything. he was the goofiest, most fun, happy-go-lucky guy around. he also had the strongest relationship with christ that i've ever seen and he made a constant effort to spread the joy that he found in christ with anyone he knew. he was a surfer, a modern-day hippy, a confidant, a creative spirit, and faithful friend. even with cancer, he never stopped being himself. he never lost hope. he truly lived. he was fearless. 

we're coming up on the 3rd anniversary of his passing away, and it still seems like it just happened yesterday. my life has changed so much in the last three years, and there's so much of it that i wish he could have been a part of. i think that's the hardest part for me. the fact that he wasn't able to celebrate mine and michael's wedding with us, or knowing that my kids will never get to know him makes me sick to my stomach, but it also points out the selfishness in my own heart. i'm selfish because i would rather have him here with me, but in order to do that, he would have to be taken from the eternal peacefulness of heaven. talk about a catch 22. 

i was looking at my dad's facebook page earlier and was very encouraged by a status he posted back in march of 2010. what an incredible call to action that we should all take to heart! bottom line: i miss you, dad. 

father's day

first off, happy father's day to all the dads out there! 


i hope that everyone has taken time today to tell the special man in their life (it may or may not be their biological father), how much they love, appreciate, and care about them. since i lost my dad two years ago (in may), father's day is one of those things that i really miss. i also think that sometimes i took it for granted...you know, those pesky teenage years when you think you're too 'cool' to do stuff with your parents. we had a tradition when i was growing up to take 'father-daughter' photos each year on father's day, and many of my father's day memories with my dad involve trips to astroworld, galveston, ice cream at vienna coffee, long talks, concerts, and just visiting. we'd talk about everything--my dreams, plans for the future, school, boys, religion, politics, history, science, technology...everything. what i wouldn't give to be able to just hang out with my dad this father's day. 


i do need to add a disclaimer here. i have another dad in my life that has had (and continues to have) such a wonderful impact on my life, and i love him dearly. my stepdad, tray, who's been in my life for the past 5 years is absolutely wonderful. he and i have a great relationship and he's one of the most trustworthy, smart, and hard-working people i know. if you looked up 'provider' in the dictionary, there's sure to be a picture of tray right next to it (as well as dedicated and selfless). i can always count on tray to go fishing, cook out, spend hours looking at movies to buy, watch really good movies, and give great, unbiased advice. 


it obviously sucks that my dad can't be around, but man, do i have a great 'stand-in.' here's some of my favorite pictures of me and my dad. 

december 4, 1987

hangin' out at dad's house...rockin' the bunny slippers
and mickey mouse sunglasses.

seriously? lol. he always just let me do my thing. 

one of our many photo booth sessions.

another photo booth. love it!

paintin' my toesies!

senior night- 2005

foot ball game-2005

parent's weekend at texas tech-2006

one of our many trips to galveston. i think this was back
in 2010 (the date on the photo is wrong). 

at my cousin's wedding in california.

my college graduation from texas tech- december 2009.